So over these past few months of my break from the blog I have made it a point to talk to people in my day to day about the lows in life and the negative aspects that we are expected to keep private. And with every person I have talked to it has boiled down to the exact same thing: we all are going through something.
I feel like the norm is to just get over it. And in my experience, belittling my emotions and bullying myself into believing that I am being dramatic has just prolonged the negative. If someone has ever told you, “Don’t worry it’ll be okay” or “Someone will always have it worse than you”, it’s just a polite way of saying to get over it. And while those statements are true, they don’t allow someone to sit and analyze and just be with their emotions of worry, doubt, or loneliness. While your problem may seem small to someone on the outside looking in, that problem is with you and no one else. So don’t let anyone tell you that what you are going through isn’t worthy of the emotions you are feeling.
So, instead of completely ignoring your emotions, here are three things that work for me to sit down and understand what is going on in my head:
I know I went off on this method on my last post but no matter what, I will always stand by this method. Journaling is a great way to practice mindfulness and be present while still keeping a perspective on what’s going on. If journaling intimidates you and you don’t know where to start, I would take the pressure off and start with a line a day. It could be something as simple as “I ate a jolly rancher today” or “I had a mental breakdown after spilling my coffee”.
I have a negative relationship with myself and the word productivity. I don’t know why I put all this pressure on myself as if 100 people are watching my everyday life. And yes this weird relationship did spill into my journaling. I wouldn’t write because I felt every piece of my writing in my journal had to be some masterpiece, when in reality, no one else has read those pages. But it was those pages of just brain dumping my feelings that was actually progressive for my mind. And helped me understand what was going on inside it.
Okay you might be like “what the f*k, walking Michelle???”. But yes, walking.
I started walking my dog Scooby. And at first it was just for his benefit. But then after a while I found myself needing to go for walks if I wasn’t in a good place. It sort of became a form of meditation for me.
If I am anxious, or melancholy, or even at peace, I go for walks. They allow me to reflect and understand what I’m feeling, and where it’s coming from. They allow me to focus on my body and mind. They allow me to remind myself that I need to let go of the worries of my future. And allow me to remind myself that things do fall into place and have trust that I am where I need to be right now.
Thats probably one of my top three anxieties in my life right now. Sometimes I drown myself in doubt about where I am going in life, because I honestly don’t know. And again it’s crazy because I know a lot of people all ages that have no clue what they’re doing. But I guess that’s kind of the beauty of life, is you kind of just roll with it. You roll through the amazingness of it and of course the punches too. Because life might not always be picture perfect like we sometimes make it out to be. But in the midst of all the chaos the least we can do is find peace. Whether it be walking or painting or cooking or cleaning; it allows your mind to hone in on the present and let go of being sad about the past or anxious about the future. Everyone needs something to be present in life, no matter how big or small a problem may seem to someone, it falls on you to sit down with your emotions. Take them in and really feel them, not ignore them and be passive about them. Telling yourself you need to get over it, is not a form of healing.
Everyone needs something to let their mind take a deep breath, process, and let go.
Your emotions are real and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you are not happy, or at peace with your life, instead of relying on time to heal everything, sit down and listen to what your body is trying to tell you. Just like you do not expect a broken bone to heal over night, don’t put that pressure onto yourself and don’t expect your mind and soul to heal overnight either. Don’t get overwhelmed with what you find, just listen, acknowledge, and process.